July Already and Only My 2nd Post this Year!

I have to say this year, 2023 has been a huge year of firsts for me. In January I went on my very first cruise. My friend Chris and I flew to Long Beach, California and boarded a Carnival Cruise ship right near the Queen Mary. It was a five day cruise with stops in Cabo San Lucas and Ensenada. I really enjoyed it. We only spent about 5 hours in the towns walking around and shopping. In Cabo we took a taxi to go visit a Costco, that was fun. The cruise we were on had LDS speakers and musicians so the time spent on the ship was super fun. I also loved the swimming pools and dancing every single night in the night club, mostly with a really fun group of women I met on the cruise. Our dinner table companions were fun to visit with. Two friends from Utah and a mother and daugther also from Utah.

My sister Sue came to town to attend the Sewing Expo at the fairgrounds in March. It was nice to be back there in person and we had a lot of fun in classes. 

Wally's brother Zack passed away in December, just months after Wally. His memorial was held in March in Bellingham.

In April I flew to Salt Lake when the granddaughters were out of school for spring break. And we had snow, lots of snow! It was a really fun trip.

May was a very busy month, with more time away from home then at home. I did a fun road trip to Medford, Oregon to stay with my two great nieces while their parents celebrated their 20th anniversary in Hawaii. The girls were in school and we had one weekend together. It was a really fun time.

I got back from Oregon and within a week I was on a plane to Salt Lake City. From there Natalie and I flew to Tulsa, Oklahoma. We rented a car and spent two nights in Pawhuska seeing all things Pioneer Woman. We had a blast. (Even though we would not recommend the hotel we stayed out.) Seeing the lodge was one of the best parts of the trip. The food was the other best part. We spent a night in Tulsa and explored the city, visiting lots of route 66 places. A highlight in Tulsa was visiting their botanical garden. We were even on some of the course for an Ironman race that was happening that morning.

June was my family reunion at the cabin in Island Park. Even though my kids were not able to be there it was a great week with lots of family coming and going throughout the week. Emily and I drove into Yellowstone Park. I got to go to the Playmill and see Beauty and the Beast. Walking around West Yellowstone is always fun. I just ate my last piece of saltwater taffy this week.

Looking forward to Taylor Swift's concert this month in Seattle with family coming for the weekend. Then another trip to Utah to see Alicia Keys in concert, Manti cousins reunion, and celebrate Natalie's birthday.

Navigating life solo has it's challenges but things are going well. I got the new roof on the house in April. Had a fun front patio installed in June. Went through Father's Day and 4th of July without Wally. He is still in my thoughts daily. 

2023!

I think my goal for my blog this year is to make a minimum of 12 posts. I'm already late to the game since it's now February. So Wally has been gone now for 5 months and one week. 

In that time I have experienced basically every holiday, birthday and special occasion without him. I have spent those days with friends and family. September-my birthday, October-Wally's birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, what would have been our 35th wedding anniversay in January and in a couple of weeks Valentine's Day. Phew!

How am I doing you ask? I am in a Facebook group for widow's and widowers, have attended a Zoom meeting to hear poetry that people have written about their grief, I'm loving Anderson Cooper's podcast as he prepares his Mother's apartments to be sold and he interviews other people who have had great loss in their lives.

I am currently reading the book, "It's Okay that You're Not Okay, Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand" by Megan Divine and have started counseling. I highly recommend this book even to those that have not suffered the death of a spouse. We don't talk about death and loss enough and we should.

Book on Amazon

Here are some things I have been learning about grief.

The stages of grief, the Kubler-Ross model, were actually based on people who were dying, not people who were grieving.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_stages_of_grief

Grief looks different for each individual. Do not compare one grief to another. Do not judge someone for how they grieve and how they do or do not move forward. You do not "get over" grief, you do not move on, you learn to move forward. 

There is always the discussion of whether or not a quick sudden death is better or worse, than knowing someone is dying and watching them for maybe months or years. There is no answer to that question. I've had that conversation with people. Either way the words left unspoken are left hanging.

I have learned that life goes on with or without my participation. I have more good days now than bad. I will continue to talk out loud to Wally, and cry when I need to cry. Grief and death changes your relationships with other people in unexpected ways, some good, some not. After living with someone for nearly 35 years it takes time to navigate this new life without him.

I've been blessed with some rock solid people in my life for support. We do not know all the struggles people around us might be going through. 

Remember "Be Kind; Everyone You Meet is Fighting a Hard Battle". Tell your people you love them, mend your broken relationships, live life.

The Moving Sidewalk

Five weeks ago tomorrow, Wally passed away peacefully in the hospital. It's probably redundant for me to say he had a really rough year. In June he ended up in the hospital in Coeur d'Alene on the way home from the cabin. 

Little did we know this would be his last trip to the cabin. We weren't even sure we were going to go, but we thought we'd test out a road trip. He needed a change of scenery. I would like to think he enjoyed our time spent together on the road trip and the week at the cabin.

From the end of June to now, things are kind of a blur. So much happened in such a short amount of time. I feel like I'm on a moving sidewalk. No matter what happens to me, around me, to others around me, the sidewalk just keeps moving and I have no choice but to continue to move along also. 

And that's what I'm doing. I was reminded that although my husband has moved on from this mortal existence, my life goes on. Like the moving sidewalk. It's just very different now. I'm still feeling things out, finding my routine, I'm not back to my normal activities just yet but I'm working on it.

As I've been pondering things I've had these thoughts; I had my Dad for 40 years, my Mom for 46 years, my sister for 63 years and my sweet Wally for 34 years. 

We do not know how long someone will be in our life. Choose the kind words, practice patience, say I love you, listen, slow down, take time.

12/21/2021

It's been so long since I've posted on my blog. I'm not sure what the purpose of my blog is anymore or if I even have an audience. So for now I'm considering it my public journal because sometimes I feel the need to write and put my words out there in the world. Maybe someone needs to hear what I have to say, maybe I just need to express myself.

It's days before Christmas. We are still very much in a pandemic with Covid-19 and many new variants. Wally and I have had 3 vaccinations as recommended over the last year. Wally for the most part stays at home. I continue cautiously with my activities. We have been fortunate to stay healthy.

In August 2020 I lost my sister Nancy to complications from Multiple Sclerosis. She was 66 years old. I miss her very much and I'm grateful for the extra time we had with her. She was on hospice for three years. She was a wonderful example of strength, courage and faith. She was always smiling and loved telling you about movies she had seen or stories about her adorable grand children.

Wally lost his brother Herman earlier this year. Wally is the oldest of the family and Herman was two years younger than him. It's been very hard for him.

We were able to spend time with our family at the cabin in June after being vaccinated. It was wonderful to be able to travel and to see everyone.

I was able to go on some hikes this summer. My hiking/walking buddy moved from Kent to Long Beach in August. We were able to visit her new home and the ocean in September. I do miss walking Clark Lake Park with her though.

In August we had a fun time when my great nieces from Oregon came and stayed with us for a week. We did so much exploring around Seattle and Tacoma. We had a blast. When they went home to Oregon we met up in Independence so that I could visit my Grandma Lulu's grave site.

In September my daughter Natalie and niece Emily flew from Utah for a visit. It was Emily's first time to the area. We had to plan our outings based on whether or not it was going to rain that day. Natalie's husband Scott joined us for some of the time.

We drove to Long Beach and spent the night with Yvonne. Then spent a day visiting Cannon Beach, and Astoria. And getting stuck on the Astoris bridge because of an earlier accident.

We did the Washington State Fair, Space Needle, Ballard Locks, waterfront, Pike's Place market and so much more. It was great spending time with family.

I dearly miss my visits to St. George to see Wayne and Andrea and my four grand daughters. With Covid and Wally's health it's just not been possible to travel for a visit there yet. Hopefully this spring I can make that happen.

It's hard to believe another year has gone by. I have been evaulating my passions and the things I desire to spend my time on. I'm still involved with the ham radio community, love to take pictures, quilt, play my ukulele, I got a Cricut vinyl cutting machine this year too. There is so much I love to do. I especially love to be outdoors which is hard here this time of year. But I will be joining some rainy day hikes in the new year.

Where ever you may be in your life right now, find joy in what you do. Make time for what and who you love and live with no regrets.

Merry Christmas! And here's wishing 2022 brings good things to us all.

~Trudy~

May 2, 2020

The State of Washington is in a Stay at Home condition at this time. We have been since sometime in March. We are living through a worldwide pandemic dealing with a virus called the Corona Virus, or Covid -19 as they are calling it. It began in China and in a matter of weeks it spread through out the world. In order to slow the spread of the virus, we have to stay away from people. They know that people could not be showing any signs of the virus but they could pass it on to someone. The older folks and those with compromised immune systems are at a higher risk. Wally fits both of those categories. 

We have been home for weeks and weeks. I'd have to look at the calendar to see just how many weeks it's been. We were fortunate for our food storage in our pantry when it all started. Since then we have had groceries delivered, I've picked groceries up curb side after ordering online and I've gone inside Safeway twice and Costco once. This week I was able to go to Federal Way and donate blood.

We have discovered Door Dash to support the local restaurants and give me a break from cooking! We visit with the neighbors across the street but remain at a distance from each other. Fortunately we were already retired so our fixed income didn't change. Our adult children all are still employed. It did interrupt our grand daughter's first year of college and our other grand daughter's school year.

I stay busy. We've been fortunate that this has happened in the springtime when it's so pretty here in Washington State. There is plenty of yard work. I started the random seed packets I had in the storage shed and they are doing well. I have traded sourdough starter for tomato starts.

It's been a time of self reflection, a time of discovery, a time of connecting with each other in different ways. It's been Sunday School class and church leadership meetings over a video call on the computer. 

It's been video calls with family in other states. I get outside and walk as much as the weather permits. We do WW meetings via Zoom. 

Just recently the governor extended the Stay at Home order until the end of May. They are going to work on a 4 phase approach of reopening things. But keeping everyone safe. The worst that could happen is we reopen to soon and the positive numbers with the virus rise.

There have been so many deaths in our state. Health Care Workers are over extended and living some of the most stressful times in their lives.

I'm full of gratitude for what we have. We live in a modern society with so many conveniences. We will get through this. Never in my life did I imagine I would live through something like this. It shows us that we're not really in control. But we are in control of our actions and how we respond.

Carry on people, be safe. 

2020

It's a new year! It's been a long wet winter here in Kent. The last couple of days we've had some sunshine but still in the 40's. I walked the backyard the other day and spied my hyacinth bulbs peeking through.

I'm getting close to hitting my three year retirement mark. It's hard to believe three years have flown by. It's been great. I'm very happy I retired when I did.

To give you an idea of how I spend my days, yesterday on Monday, my friend and I went indoor walking at our Showare events center for 45 minutes, then we went to the senior activity center for a healthy eating class on eating to control inflammation. It was very educational and right now I have raw walnuts soaking in water. They will then be drained and rinsed and dried in a low oven. I never even knew that was a thing. 

Here is information on why you might want to soak raw nuts before eating them:
https://wholelifestylenutrition.com/recipes/appetizers-snacks/is-soaking-nuts-necessary-how-to-properly-soak-your-organic-raw-nuts/

I've been wanting a food dehydrator for a few years now. If I like these soaked, dehydrated nuts I just might invest in one. For tonight they'll be in a low, slow oven overnight. I know it's going to freak out Wally and it will be hard to explain why I'm leaving the oven on all night! Maybe he won't notice.

Also, yesterday I watched my friend's 9 year old son in the afternoon. Which means we watched Sponge-bob Square Pants, while eating warm brownies which were sent home with him.

After dinner I drove to downtown Seattle, to Benaroya Hall for the National Geographic Live event. My friend, Chris and I have been going to this speaker series for quite a few years now. It gives us a chance to see each other and catch up on things and enjoy beautiful photography and learn more about conserving the earth. 

Last night's scientist was a woman who actually was an ice skater through college. She almost made it to the Olympics! It was about the animals that live in the middle depth of the ocean. Quite fascinating. 

https://www.nationalgeographic.org/media/kakani-katija-bioengineer-and-research-diver/

And also about how science and inventions learn from nature. Did you know that Velcro was patterned after a plant called burdock burrs? 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_de_Mestral

Today was a more chilled day. My friend and I went to our weekly Tai Chi class. It's a modified simple version which begins with stretches and ends with meditation. It's been a great class. After that I ran a few errands, then relaxed at home watching last night's episode of Manifest and a couple of episodes of Locke and Key on Netflix.

Tonight after dinner, I have two church meetings back to back. That's how my days go. Always on the go, but I do know how to relax.

Here are a couple of pictures I took on my Sunday afternoon walk.

This is Now

The year is going by way too fast! It's almost June. The schools here have to go till the last week of June due to making up for snow days.

I've been doing some hiking, lots of walking, lots of baking and just having a lot of fun. There has also been a lot of spring cleaning yard work, putting in a small garden, planting flowers plus two trips to Utah in April and May.

I was able to spend Easter with Wayne and Andrea and the girls. It was so much fun. We had beautiful weather and we got to take the girls to an Easter egg hunt. Plus we got to ride the carousel downtown. We took lots of pictures in their Easter Sunday dresses.

St. George Children's Museum

 

My second trip to Utah was flying in to SLC to spend time with my sisters in Springville. We had a blast. We watched movies, ate, stayed up way too late talking, cleaned, went to a craft boutique, hung out with my daughter Natalie. Had a lot of fun.

I love a restaurant with scones on the menu for breakfast! Penny Ann's.

I must say I love spring time, the weather, the flowers, the rain. It's been great this year!

2/4/2019

Today I discovered yet another wonderful thing about being retired. It snowed last night, a lot. We didn't wake up to an alarm clock, we didn't have to go anywhere. I spent most of the morning in my sweats. After lunch I brushed my teeth and put on real clothes to go outdoors.

I spent a lot of the morning either exercising on my mini trampoline while watching TV or looking out the window watching the hummingbirds. They are so cute and fluffy in the winter, I just want to hold one in my hands for a minute.

I bundled up and went outdoors to help Wally shovel the driveway and the walkway so that when it freezes tonight we might have one less slippery spot.

And I took my camera out with me. I stood in the backyard watching one bird sitting in the top of my lilac tree. Every once in awhile he'd fly over to the feeder, or another bird would come get him and they would fly high into the trees.

Nature is amazing. No matter what season it is. It amazes me. Just one week ago I was outdoors on a hike. Today I'm sitting on the living room floor in front of the wood burning stove. 

Some days in retirement can be really busy. But not today. Today we hit pause, we relaxed, some things got done, other things will wait another day.

Finding shelter from the snow in the rhody plant.

I no longer remember where Wally got this metal pheasant from. It's attached to an old tree stump in the front yard. I just think it's funny and loved it in the snow!

There was so much buzzing around me while in the backyard trying to get hummingbird pictures. I wasn't sure where this guy was until I got the pictures on the computer. I try so hard to get them in flight, but they move so very fast!

1/1/19

Yep, that's right. It's now the year 2019. I haven't posted on my blog since May. But hey, you know, it's a new year. Time to change things up a bit.

2018 was an enjoyable year. I can say I'm well adjusted into retirement. 

I hiked once a month with the seniors and my friend Yvonne. What a wonderful way to explore this beautiful area which I've lived in for the last 30 years.

January Hike 

February was a fun trip to St. George for Bella's baby blessing and to spend time with Wayne and his family.

And we had a little bit of snow in February.

March brought signs of spring and more time to be outside.

In April I was able to spend time with my sisters and my daughter in Utah. I took a ham radio class and obtained my technician license. I also made a gadzillion pieces of chocolate for a volunteer luncheon at the senior center. Chocolate butterflies and chocolate bowls for fruit salad. It was quite the experience.

Also in April, Yvonne and I ventured north to the tulip fields. What a beautiful day that was. We took a lot of pictures.

May brought another trip to beautiful southern Utah. I was there on the last couple of days of school. We had a fun time. And the weather there is so nice in the spring time. The girls and I always enjoy making treats together.

June was our annual trip to the cabin on Henry's Lake with family. Wally and I went a few days early. We drove back home on I-90.

We tried to catch Steamboat Geyser but it just wasn't it's time! But boy there were a lot of tourist there!

In July I was able to attend a Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert at Benaroya Hall. That was pretty cool. 

Yvonne and I also went to Sequim the week before the lavender festival kicked off. What a sight that was. It was amazing.

Distilling oil

We also had a Gaytan/Ortiz family reunion.

Our hike in August took us to The Grove of the Patriarchs. What an amazing place just outside Rainier National Park.

August was also a family party in West Seattle, lunch with past coworkers, and a David Foster concert at Benaroya Hall. It was also my 13th annual back to school clothes shopping trip for Gisele and I. She is a senior this year. We started this as she was entering into kindergarten.

In September we traveled by train to Safeco Field and listened to President Nelson, his wife Wendy and Henry B. Eyring speak to over 45,000 saints in the area. What a special day that was.

Our September adventures continues as Wally and I packed the car for a 2 week road trip through Boise to Salt Lake and then on to St. George. We house/dog sat while Scott and Natalie went to Mexico. It was a fun time to visit with my friends and family along the way and who live in Salt Lake.

October we had special visitors when my childhood friend Gail and her husband Wayne came up for a weekend visit. We celebrated Wally's birthday and their anniversary. We enjoyed some exceptional fall weather and got to be outside. It was so much fun spending time with them.

 

November we had more visitors when Bart and Autumn and the girls came for a quick weekend trip. It's always so much fun to have them visit. We went out for Mexican food one night and pizza another night. They had a fun day trip to Seattle and the market.

We celebrated Thanksgiving on Saturday and had a nice dinner and visit with Wally's girls, Tim and Gisele.

My brother and his wife came to town for Thanksgiving. I got to meet my great nephew Bodie. We had a fun visit.

December. Do you all remember what a busy month that was? Wow, it was non stop for me. But lots of fun. I made 600 pieces of caramel. If you didn't receive any from me, it might still happen. I even tracked how many pounds of butter I used in the month of December. I haven't tallied it up yet.

Christmas was nice. We had a yummy dinner and spent the afternoon with Melissa, Tim, Gisele and Carla. I was able to talk and text with family. 

Our December hike in Redmond was so cold. But it was worth it, it was so pretty to see the frost.

In December I did the Christmas Fun Run 5K. I walked/jogged it and came in 9th for my age group. I was pleased with my time. 

2018 was a good year. This really is just some of the highlights. There were birthdays, dinners out, gatherings with coworkers, time spent volunteering at the senior center, lots of baking, learning new things, lots of pictures, concerts, shows, National Geographic Events with my friend Chris, lots of church activities, fun with my hummingbirds and squirrels in my yard. 

I did purchase a ham radio in August and I join in a weekly emergency net check in. 

In 2019, I will continue to play as much as I can, keep Wally healthy and active, hit goal and become a lifetime member of WW, take more pictures (especially when I get together with friends and family), go to downtown Seattle more, continue hiking monthly, serve others in a variety of ways, share my time and talents, be a good friend, wife, Mom and grandma, bake homemade croissants, eat cake when I want to, be happy, make others happy when I can, go to the ocean. And whatever else strikes my fancy during the year.

Stay tuned, it's going to be a good ride!